Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize