She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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