i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
