somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
high people should be assigned attendants
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize