sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
