he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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