Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
