Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
