Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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