thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
