hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
