Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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