True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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