i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
