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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  u sound so gay right now

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• (707): View more from California

  They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex. 

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.

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• (707): View more from California

  New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.

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• (518): View more from New York

  The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.

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