Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?

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  (505): so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew? http://tfl.nu/930a
  Replies (27) Good night (1420) Bad night (566)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.

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  (732): When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/kqsj
  Replies (29) Good night (636) Bad night (5195)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.

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  (617): I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster. http://tfl.nu/4sze
  Replies (45) Good night (5134) Bad night (1013)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Did u at least say sorry?

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  (732): I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet. (908): Did u at least say sorry? http://tfl.nu/m6e4
  Replies (44) Good night (1137) Bad night (8270)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.

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  (702): Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better. http://tfl.nu/sd76
  Replies (11) Good night (4812) Bad night (1299)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.

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  (314): On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner. http://tfl.nu/glyx
  Replies (4) Good night (2106) Bad night (644)
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  (707): View more from California

  I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"

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  (707): I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition" http://tfl.nu/pg7b
  Replies (8) Good night (3062) Bad night (994)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

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  (412): some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job. http://tfl.nu/yk8c
  Replies (7) Good night (3372) Bad night (594)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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  (770): No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together http://tfl.nu/677k
  Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (1421)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them

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  (613): Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them http://tfl.nu/25vp
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (273)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station

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  (802): Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station http://tfl.nu/2mxj
  Replies (10) Good night (605) Bad night (271)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.

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  (407): We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party. http://tfl.nu/zy10
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (238)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.

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  (918): I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now. http://tfl.nu/hh6j
  Replies (4) Good night (284) Bad night (501)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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  (602): Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/lmyw
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (242)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.

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  (212): Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate. http://tfl.nu/w2uc
  Replies (1) Good night (193) Bad night (489)

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