Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

I like to think it a success when the cops are called

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(708): View more from Illinois

Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy

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(316): View more from Kansas

Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...

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(540): View more from Virginia

She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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(514): View more from Quebec

she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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(352): View more from Florida

If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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