I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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