Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
