Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
