do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
