It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
