physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
