Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST

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  (703): fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST http://tfl.nu/btab
  Replies (46) Good night (1062) Bad night (851)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell him to stop quoting family guy

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  (412): omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say (1-412): tell him to stop quoting family guy http://tfl.nu/1hbe
  Replies (18) Good night (1677) Bad night (796)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.

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  (402): I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents. http://tfl.nu/l0y8
  Replies (9) Good night (1009) Bad night (2138)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis

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  (908): im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis http://tfl.nu/pro9
  Replies (14) Good night (3589) Bad night (800)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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  (336): just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ... http://tfl.nu/0ptt
  Replies (18) Good night (1035) Bad night (2770)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.

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  (501): If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame. http://tfl.nu/x1of
  Replies (16) Good night (945) Bad night (1986)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."

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  (519): I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it." http://tfl.nu/vqit
  Replies (14) Good night (4695) Bad night (946)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.

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  (480): I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/5zqd
  Replies (16) Good night (786) Bad night (3173)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.

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  (234): For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well. http://tfl.nu/1g4h
  Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (963)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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  (307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (1114) Bad night (554)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.

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  (803): Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard. http://tfl.nu/vzps
  Replies (8) Good night (835) Bad night (1459)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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  (860): next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous http://tfl.nu/uxgf
  Replies (7) Good night (1266) Bad night (507)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.

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  (309): I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/4eep
  Replies (1) Good night (716) Bad night (363)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned

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  (303): Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned http://tfl.nu/2xe6
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (471)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.

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  (719): No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos. http://tfl.nu/xmoj
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (153)

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