She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar