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• (404): View more from Georgia

  alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Missed another period

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.

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  21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us

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  17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts

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• (916): View more from California

  I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love

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• (415): View more from California

  If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.

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