420 ftw
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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