That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed