but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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