The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
