It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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