girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
