I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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