pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
it was like eating out sand paper
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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