You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
