Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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