You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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