my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love having hate sex.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
