Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
