mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
