I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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