me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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