We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
