Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
