it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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