Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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