I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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