love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
