I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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