Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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