I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
