Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
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