You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
