he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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