Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party

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(619): View more from California

she peed on how many people?

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...

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(720): View more from Colorado

If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit

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