we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
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It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.