Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.