He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.