Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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