i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
