how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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