also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
