"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
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how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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