you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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