I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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